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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26463943">as the world caves in</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/revoleotion/pseuds/revoleotion'>revoleotion</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, As the world caves in, Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Mention of abuse, Post TFA, Songfic, the hux phasma alliance, this is really sad I mean it</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:09:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,477</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26463943</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/revoleotion/pseuds/revoleotion</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Starkiller explodes - and Kylo and Hux are still on it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>55</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>as the world caves in</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Oh, it’s you,” Hux says. His voice is a faint whisper from his blue couch. He looks like a man who has looked death in the eyes and begged for a few more minutes. His expression is haunted, he has his hands curled to fists and takes shallow, exhausted breaths. </p><p>“I know you wanted someone else,” Kylo replies. His face burns but not as much as his stomach. The blaster-wound dares to tear open with every movement, so Kylo decides to collapse on the floor next to his enemy. Perhaps enemy is the wrong word. As for now, they share the same fate. They’re equal, finally truly equal. </p><p>As extinction creeps up to them, Kylo feels nothing. </p><p>“No, I enjoy going down with you,” Hux says, amusement to his shaking voice. “I wish it didn’t have to be now.”</p><p>A look inside the man’s brain, a brain too tired to refuse, reveals thoughts too colorful to be dedicated to Kylo. He allows himself to dwell in Hux’ thoughts for a while, just long enough to make Hux’ feelings his own. If Kylo could live in Hux’ feelings for Phasma forever, he wouldn’t turn that offer down. It’s not love, it’s trust, and that goes deeper than any other feeling. </p><p>“Someone must’ve given the shield codes away,” Kylo prompts and watches the colorful thoughts in Hux’ brain turn to ice, then hot, intense wrath. </p><p>“She couldn’t,” Hux hisses. “Get out of my head, Ren.”</p><p>Ah. Ren. “Human” in ancient human language neither of them bothered to learn. Of course Kylo didn’t give himself this name, it’s way too close to the teenage boy he’s trying to will out of existence. No. Kylo just took the name and made it his own, and maybe he found comfort in how similar it sounds to what he has been called for 26 years of his life. (A paradox.  Hux would find this amusing.)</p><p>“Why would I lie to you?” Kylo asks. “There’s no way out. No turning back. This thing is going to explode and we will be right in the middle of it.”</p><p>Hux makes a noise that could be a sob, a scoff, a curse. When Kylo turns his head, the General wipes his fingers across his face and looks at the teardrops running down his fingertips. </p><p>“Because that’s how you work. You- you poison everything. You’d ruin this too.”</p><p>He’s not wrong, Kylo thinks. Sometimes everything about him feels like a curse. He can’t control it. His bad decisions are his own, of course, but at the same time Kylo rarely feels alone inside his head. Is he going to admit that to anyone? No. Especially not to Hux.</p><p>“She did it. <em> Blast</em>, I want her to be okay,” Hux mumbles. He sits up, wipes away a few more tears. The sobs send tremors down his entire body and it takes more than a couple of seconds for him to calm down. </p><p>System failures all around. It’s going to happen any minute, Kylo thinks. </p><p>“How much time do we have?” Kylo asks. After all, this is the expert he’s talking to. Hux’ passion project. His invention. He was the mastermind behind this but not even Hux was able to grasp how destructive his masterpiece was. When Hux saw pretty lasers and felt power, Kylo felt destruction. (No remorse. No guilt. Just the destruction and the pain they caused. He’s still waiting for the guilt to settle in.)</p><p>“Twenty minutes. Maybe less.” Hux drops his hands into his lap. “My quarters are supposed to be the last ones the explosion reaches,” he adds after a small pause. Pure poison in his mouth, it drips into the air and makes Kylo wince. </p><p>“Good. Would you get us a drink? I can’t…”</p><p>To his surprise Hux nods. While the General gets up and roams in his cupboards for a bottle of wine that fits the occasion, Kylo forces his body to move. He can sit up and lean against the couch but it makes his vision turn spotty and his stomach scream with pain. </p><p>But he survives. Because he refuses to leave Hux alone with this. </p><p>Hux pours wine into a fancy glass, leans down to give it to Kylo, and then proceeds to take a large sip out of the bottle. He drops onto the couch again, his legs folded underneath his body. When he removes the bottle from his lips, it’s half empty. </p><p>“Impressive,” Kylo comments and chugs the wine without regarding the taste. It must be a good one, Hux and Phasma don’t drink bad wine, but Kylo has never cared for wine. It’s one of the many things that prevented him from fitting in within their little, exclusive Starkiller triumvirate. </p><p>He reaches up to snatch the bottle out of Hux’ hands. The man doesn’t put up a fight. He just sits, too calm for someone who just emptied half a bottle of wine by himself. When Kylo starts drinking, the words spill into the silence. </p><p>“I’m scared,” Hux says. It’s a voice  Kylo has never heard from him before. To be fair, he has never seen the man scared either. It’s always been spite, arrogance, seriousness. No fear. At least no obvious one. Sometimes, when Kylo threatened him, he could catch something in Hux’ widened eyes. A quick flash of a pain that Kylo didn’t cause. Pain that life thrusted at him, pain that was never going to stop. Oh and Kylo never wanted to hurt him, it has just felt natural to do so. </p><p>But nothing about Hux’ fear is natural to him. Kylo feels like he’s not supposed to witness this. </p><p>Hux digs his nails into the perfect blue couch, exhales heavily and squeezes his eyes shut. </p><p>“Not like this,” he whispers. “Not like this.”</p><p>“Yes. Like this,” Kylo says. “Get used to it.”</p><p>There’s a small, cynical smile on the man’s lips. </p><p>“I heard that a lot,” he says. And it’s like he’s not really talking to Kylo because the Hux he knows doesn’t use that soft voice with Kylo. That’s his Phasma-voice. </p><p>Maybe Kylo can do one last thing for him, to make up for a lifetime of wrongdoings. </p><p>“I can end this quicker,” he offers. </p><p>Hux doesn’t react at first. Then he laughs, an ugly sound that makes Kylo’s chest ache. </p><p>“What? Like you’re the kriffing hero?” Hux asks. He presses a hand to his mouth as more giggles escape him. </p><p>“I’m not a hero,” Kylo says. </p><p>“I was being sarcastic, Ren,” Hux hisses. There’s too much on his face and even more inside his head. Kylo can’t grasp any of it. It would take him more time than he has to understand Hux, maybe a few lifetimes. Maybe Kylo’s life had always been too safe to compete with a man who was constantly on the edge of losing it all. </p><p>“You’re no hero,” Hux says. The exhaustion is back. Kylo follows his movements with his eyes as he lays back and stares up to the ceiling. The lights are still flickering but the sirens and destruction have become a background noise. </p><p>“It’s over soon, anyway,” Hux says. “Don’t die a damn hero, Ren. It’s too late to start now.”</p><p>Kylo forces his body to move, pushes himself up and squeezes himself on the couch next to Hux’ head. He almost passes out when the pain seizes through his body but he keeps his eyes open and inhales Hux’ scent. Hux doesn’t ask for permission when he puts his head down in Kylo’s lap. </p><p>It’s not the first time that Kylo thinks he doesn’t deserve this, all of it. It’s the first time it fully hits him. </p><p>The other side is going to win. The good side. The right side. This explosion will devour the galaxy’s big evil. It will devour the voices in Kylo’s brain. It will devour Hux’ ambition grown out of endless abuse. </p><p><em> Blast</em>, he’s never done anything right. Unlike Hux, he had a choice. </p><p>“Will it hurt?” Hux asks. </p><p>Kylo looks down on his face like it’s the first time he ever sees him. Hux is a pretty man, not handsome, pretty. He fits right into Kylo’s lap like he’s supposed to be here, like this is how things are supposed to end. </p><p>“No,” he lies. “You won’t feel a thing.” </p><p>He feels it coming. The Force warns him, a gentle whisper, then an intense ball of panic in his stomach. His first instinct is to shield Hux with his arms and even though it won’t help, he still strokes Hux’ hair. The man shivers a little but doesn’t flinch away. He has stopped crying and now just looks up to him, green-grey eyes almost curious. Hux is calm. He awaits death like it's just another thing the universe threw at him. </p><p>Kylo prepares himself for the impact.</p>
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